Tips on how to move on from your ex-boyfriend

By Sai

I’ve been having one of the biggest problems a single lady like me could encounter – moving on from your past guy. I have been watching Sex and the City the whole night and there was this episode about “break up rules”. I would like to call it my “moving on rules”.

I am not an expert in this part though. James was my first serious relationship and I am still a virgin in dealing with emotional problems brought by an ex-boyfriend. I know that there are lots of single ladies all over the world. There might be some who’s just like me and I want to share my “moving on methodology”.

1. Get busy. Getting busy is one way of setting your mind to not think of your ex-boyfriend or at least think of something worthwhile. Find some work to do either at home or at the office. Try to be occupied at all cost because when you are stuck with nothing to do (believe me!) you will just think of your ex-boyfriend.
2. Reconnect. With what I have experienced with James, he is this kind of guy who wants to build his own world around you and he expects you to do the same. It is kind of a good thing at the start but the world has other people too! You need to socialize! There are some who lost their connection with friends because of their “current” boyfriend. Now, when you get the chance to be single again RECONNECT with your old pals. Believe me this really works because this is also one way of getting busy and at the same time keeping up with what’s happening around the “REAL” world.
3. Date. This is just plain date. I do not encourage hooking up with another guy because you want to avoid another pain, right? A casual date can help you a lot. Be cautious though. Be careful who you date and (please) do not fall in love! I am not a big fan of being a rebounder or using someone just to ease the pain you are currently feeling. It is true that life is unfair but ALWAYS be fair to yourself.
4. Do the thing/s you like doing the best. As for me, I love shopping for makeup, makeup brushes, clothes and shoes. Shopping for me is a therapeutic act! This is a classic “moving on” act to most women. If you are a movie goer treat yourself to the latest picture at your local cinema.
5. Travel and unwind. Travelling can give you an extra boost. It can help you reflect on things you have done in the past. Re-evaluating you as an individual and as a partner. Take this time to really think things over and you’ll be surprised of the result. I suggest travelling on places where you’ll feel close to nature. This can really help.
6. Review what you’ve got and throw away unwanted memories. Photos, love letters, phone numbers, gifts and other stuffs that would remind you of him should go to the trash bin! This is one of the things you should not miss if you are decided to move on from the past. Your recovery period is a critical time and you don’t want to catch yourself off guard by remembering how you two cuddled and kissed. It will increase the pain.

Hate that I love you

By Sai

I am such a loser (I know)! James has moved on inevitably and the loser part is I haven’t and I don’t know until when this whole James dilemma will be over.

I think Rihanna and Neyo’s song “Hate that I love you” suits this James chapter of my life. I am fragile and when I am sad I just cry. Crying is not a drama for me. It is one of my ways to shake the loneliness away. I’ve been crying for the past two months but not on a regular basis. I am also busy, you know. But when I had nothing to do, all I can think of is him.

I miss his touch.

I miss his kiss.

I miss his hug.

I miss EVERYTHING about him!

Pathetic! Sometimes I wish I never loved him this much. There were times when I wish I had amnesia. Forgetting literally everything will help me a lot.

“One of these days maybe your magic won’t affect me... But no one in this world knows me the way you know me. So you’ll probably ALWAYS have a spell on me...”

Darn! James I still love you! I guess I’ll always will. This really sucks! I want to ignore the pain but I just can’t deny the fact that I am still in love with you, James. Three years is not a joke, man! I see you as my husband but I guess we’re really not meant for each other :(

“I just can’t let you go and I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU SO”

I hate you

By Sai

It has been roughly 2 months since we broke up. Let's just replace my ex-boyfriend's name with James. I really love James. He was my all! I blocked him in Facebook last week because he's starting a fight. I've been thinking too many things lately and a fight from him will add some stress.

I've been missing him since day 1 of our break up. Last night I was talking to friend, Ashley. We we're talking about something when I noticed myself writing James' name. Darn! I still love him! This is the sad part..... He's interested in another woman now :( MAJOR OUCH!

I'm sad right now because I see a different photo in him profile (yes I unblocked him in Facebook just to check what he's into right now and, yes, I miss him). It was a lady's photo who's really stunning! It hurts! Man! My profile picture is me holding a paper with "I hate you" written on it. I guess it's really for him. 

It has only been 2 months and he moved on! WTF?!?! (Sigh) I wish I can shake this feeling off of me :(

Do not expect

By Sai

Relationships? Nah! I've had the best and the worst of it! Right now I don't want to commit to anybody. Yesterday I proved myself right.

I have a friend, let's just call him "Bernie". Bernie is a good friend of mine. I met him in Makati City during our training for a call center position. He's really nice and he's a smart guy too.

We have been talking for quite some time now but not seriously. We discuss matters about "us" since we have an unknown relationship. We're friends but we both know that we have "special feelings" for each other. Though this is our situation, I never expected something from him and vice versa. We enjoy each other's company but with no commitment at all!

Good thing I never expected anything. Yesterday I found out through his Facebook update that he is in a relationship with someone else. Weird but I'm very happy for him :) I even liked his update with no hard feelings at all.

During that moment I noticed myself smiling. I am so proud of myself! I was not hurt for the first time! I think I'll be like this for a long time. I don't want to commit to anyone and I don't want to be in a serious relationship again (not in five or ten years from now). I think I just don't want to be controlled anymore. I love being single! I am having fun of doing all the things I want to do without asking for someone else's permission. I'm living a rejection-free life!

The "Bother"

By Sai

The problem with ex-boyfriends are them being bitter about what happened. Girls are like that too. There is a point where you don't want to stop talking to him just to let him know how hurt and damaged you are.

Last week was a pretty hard week for me. I fought with my ex-boyfriend. At first he was in control but towards the end I am the one dominant. I don't know what's the matter with him. I admit that I have flaws in our relationship but the problem with him is that he does not admit his own flaws. He thinks he's perfect!

Since we had that fight I decided not to talk to him anymore. I don't see any sense in talking to him again when all we'll do is fight about unresolved issues in our past relationships. Since he does not admit his flaws we can never resolve it. I was slowly coping to this sad feeling inside. 

I checked my Facebook account as usual and to my surprise he sent a message. He was greeting my dad for father's day. I replied with no bitterness telling him that I will tell my dad about his greeting. He replied mad. What's wrong with him? I think he likes the fact that he's bothering me. To solve the problem I blocked him in my Facebook account. I want to live my happy single life without him! He's a big pain in the *ss.

I hope he'll mature soon. His next girlfriend would be in hell if he stays like that. Good thing for me I had the chance to break free.

A love tattoo

By Sai

Now I think being so emotional can sometimes help you to enjoy the moment of being hurt. After everything, you'll get bored of being hurt and will finally decide to move on. I just want to share this quote from a fan page that I joined.

Love is much like a tattoo. You take the risk, face the pain and place it on a special part of you. And when the time comes when you need to erase it, you have to endure the pain again and realize that it will forever leave a scar, a scar that will always remind you that you had a tattoo that once symbolized something so special. -Letting go doesn't mean giving up... it means you are ready in moving on.

The story behind the name

By Sai

If you've been following my other blogs you would probably know me as "Sai Verano." Now with this very first post from the bottom of my (broken) heart, I'd use ONLY "Sai" from now on. I'm letting go of the "Verano" part. It was actually my boyfriend's (ehem... ex-boyfriend's) last name. Yes! I was a victim too! I thought we're meant to be.

We broke up because of too many issues. I can't stand his insecurities in life and his demands! It was just too much for me :( I learned to separate my own feelings (the sad ones) when I'm at work but today is different. The sadness was there. I can't hide my lonely face and my teary-eyed because of what I found out today.