Hate that I love you

By Sai

I am such a loser (I know)! James has moved on inevitably and the loser part is I haven’t and I don’t know until when this whole James dilemma will be over.

I think Rihanna and Neyo’s song “Hate that I love you” suits this James chapter of my life. I am fragile and when I am sad I just cry. Crying is not a drama for me. It is one of my ways to shake the loneliness away. I’ve been crying for the past two months but not on a regular basis. I am also busy, you know. But when I had nothing to do, all I can think of is him.

I miss his touch.

I miss his kiss.

I miss his hug.

I miss EVERYTHING about him!

Pathetic! Sometimes I wish I never loved him this much. There were times when I wish I had amnesia. Forgetting literally everything will help me a lot.

“One of these days maybe your magic won’t affect me... But no one in this world knows me the way you know me. So you’ll probably ALWAYS have a spell on me...”

Darn! James I still love you! I guess I’ll always will. This really sucks! I want to ignore the pain but I just can’t deny the fact that I am still in love with you, James. Three years is not a joke, man! I see you as my husband but I guess we’re really not meant for each other :(

“I just can’t let you go and I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU SO”