Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Lessons I’ve learned in my relationship with James

By Sai

Sex and the City really rocks! It gives me ideas to write about. Today I came across the idea of “what I’ve learned in my past relationship?”

I believe that whatever you’ve been through would lead you to something you can charge to experience. Hence, you learn something from it. James was my very first serious relationship. Guess what? It was such a mess!

Lesson number 1: Don’t love too much

I am the kind of girlfriend that if I love somebody I would definitely love him till the end – come what may. From what I experienced with James, loving him too much caused me too much trouble to ease the pain. And may I say, extraordinary pain!

Lesson number 2: Love yourself more.

This is the cliché I never imagined I will believe in. When I love somebody I usually love him every single day as if it was our last day on Earth. I give him all the attention he needed. I give him everything he wants and yes, to a point I become a “sugar mommy”. What I’m trying to say is, I give my all with the fact that I am forgetting one very important thing – myself.

“Love yourself more” – I heard this a million times but I never took it seriously until now. If only I have left something for myself I would not be as devastated as I was before. James could have not hurt me this bad. “If you’re not somebody’s girlfriend, then you don’t have to break up with anyone.” This line I learned from Samantha Jones, not the exact line but the thought is in it.

Lesson number 3: Always date the guy who’s better than you at all times.

For a career driven woman like me, settling for someone like James was hard especially on his part. Men are, most of the time, insecure. If you’re the one who’s earning more than he does then that’s a big issue. Like you have to punish yourself for being successful – not cool! So always, I mean always and at all cost and time, date a guy who’s better than your especially on the financial part.

Lesson number 4: Don’t look for Mr. Right!

Just enjoy who you’re with right now. Don’t be drowned by the “Mr. Right School of Thought”. Try to enjoy every single moment in your life. Enjoy your friends’ company. Enjoy people flirting with you. Don’t tie yourself with someone you’re not sure to spend his whole life with your. This will avoid the “I want to die because we broke up” thing.

Lesson number 5: Be optimistic.

He/She broke up with you. So what? Who cares? I know it’s very optimistic of me but since I recovered from this whole James thing, I’m very happy. I know it will be painful at times. Cry if you want. Shout and put the finger if you want but never let anyone caught you looking as loser as you are. Don’t worry. There’s lot of men/women out there. One man at a time :P

1 comment:

  1. Hello! I like your blog so far but I can't agree with you on your Lesson #3. If a guy is having problems being my boyfriend just because he's insecure about the fact that I make more than him, than he is definitely not worth my time. NOT because he makes less, but because he feels the need to have POWER over me by having me DEPEND on him financially. In our society, women are treated as less than men. The major source of this inequality is the fact men earn higher incomes than women. I'm not going to sacrifice respect for the short term so that I can only refuel disrespect in the long term. I see your point, but you should keep a high standard. A great man is someone who might not have as many achievements as you, but has enough self-respect due to his awesome PERSONALITY to be worthy of your love. :)


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