Friday, July 9, 2010

Move on

By Sai
July 9, 2010 (12:13am)

I have been holding on for my special feeling towards James for quite some time. We were together for three years and it has been (just) two months since we separated. The fact that I am not with him really kills me. I haven’t moved on and this feeling sucks.

It hurts to wake up every day with no “Good morning baby, I love you!” messages in my phone. There were times when I caught myself staring at my window, tears falling down while madly thinking of him.

What happened today was a shocker! Yes I am still stalking James’ Facebook account. He’s been saying nasty things about me online and don’t tell me that’s something great! He’s just an asshole, whom I happen to really love. How about that huh? My heart is bleeding every time I see his hate posts for me. I know we both were hurt but I just hope he’s matured enough to handle a break up. I am too fragile. My feelings are too sensitive. I may not show it but deep inside I’m bleeding.

Then I saw this:

This is my Mr. Big’s actual post. He’s falling for another woman. Two months... that’s all he needed to forget every ounce of me. Two months is all he needed to erase all those stupid “I love you honey.” Two months is all he needed to move on.

This post put a period to everything. It’s over – the only fact that I cannot face for two months. It took him eight months to kiss me. Now, all he needed was a little time and Lhara. (Sad face) I can’t breathe.

James, you were all the best I ever had. You were my life. I was still hopeful that everything will work out between us. This is all I have now – memories of you and me. I am stuck. This is no good at all. Who is Lhara? Am I just another woman you came to love for fun? You do not know the feeling. I am still in pain, James, and now you’re asking for someone else’s lips?

Tonight I watched Eclipse. My friend invited me to watch it. Because I am so sad tonight, I decided to watch the movie. As I was watching the movie, I remembered James. I said to myself, “this is exactly what we wanted to see together.” We’ve been waiting for this movie.

Then I found myself in the middle of two guys (my friends). I am having some deep thoughts. It’s just like the movie. If I am Bella, where’s my Edward? Where is my Jacob? If I am Carrie, where is Mr. Big? Where is Aidan? I have nothing but myself.

Please view this video. This really fits my situation now. James, I just hope you’ll be happy now (sad face)

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