Wednesday, July 14, 2010

To be with you

By Sai
(Written on July 12, 2010, 6:40pm)

Because I was in pain I almost forgot how to smile. Today, smiles are everywhere. I am currently listening to “To be with you” by Mr. Big (the band). As the music is playing I remember Robert.

Robert never failed to make me smile. When I and James are in a fight Robert is always there to cheer me up. He likes me and just the fact that he respects that I have a boyfriend (back then) makes me like him more (as a friend). We are good friends since 2009. Our friendship is just starting and now that I am not with James anymore, Robert is still here – just one text away.

Last night, Robert was mad at me. I was not sending him any messages since my break up with James and he knows how painful that is. He wants to be beside me but I am not giving him a chance. He was so mad and he told me that he doesn’t want me in his life. You have to understand that our feelings are mutual since we first met but I chose James. Robert waited for me (until now). He also told me not to send him any messages because he now has a girlfriend. Of course, that was another (minor) broken heart for me. The next day, Robert apologized to me and he told me that he told me that because he was so mad. I am taking him for granted and he does not want that. Now we’re okay. One question remains: Robert is good to me, can he be my next Mr. Big?

“Come on baby let me be the one to show you. I’m the one who wants to be with you. Deep inside I know you feel it to.”

This is the perfect line that will describe Robert’s feeling towards me. Listening to it right now makes me think. Do I have to give him a chance? Yes, I have feelings for him but I do not want him to be my rebound relationship. I want to love him when my heart is ready to love again.

“We can be together, baby. You can make my life worthwhile. I can start to make you smile.”

Now that I have accepted the fact that James can never be mine again, I realized one thing. There’s always someone (Robert) out there waiting for me – just this fact alone makes me happy. You see how he, Robert, always managed to make me smile?

“Just to be the next to be with you”

Robert, I will be yours when the perfect time comes. You will have my heart when my heart has been healed by time. When I’m yours I know you will make me very happy. Thanks for always loving me for who I am.

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